UNDERSTANDING DEATH

I'll be honest with you, I haven't had to see a lot of family members die. My grandfather in 1996 was the only death I had been subjected to. One heart attack later, the man who I always joked with was no longer there. At his funeral, he was buried in an urn. It was hard to believe that my large, tall grandather was now in a little containers. Need;ess to say that wasy my first encounter with death.

My grandfather on my dad's side isn't doing well at all. His lungs are giving out on him after years of having emphazeema. My good friends Matt and Tim took me to see him two evenings ago in the hospital. He didn't look well at all. At this point, I thought that this might be it. Then I remember the time he'd been in the hospital like this before. I couldn't recognize him. But he was stubborn and pulled through.

That night when I saw him, he was in pretty rough shape. Matt and I prayed for him though and by the time we had left, he looked a lot better. God had worked his magic.

Yesterday morning I said a prayer and God spoke to me. He said talk to your friend at work. I did so and again he told me something that I didn't want to hear. Quite opposite actually. He said a way of getting over death is by realizing they are in a better place and that they no longer have to suffer.

At this moment in time, I don't want to let my grandfather go. He's been there for so many years, but I know he's suffering and that in itself kills me to watch.

My girlfriend also tried to provide a few words of comfort, but she said herself that they were trite. Death is a delicate matter. It's energy draining and even the simple work day that distracts you from these feelings is a relief.

"My grandpa." This is my tag phrase for him. I was seven on a boat trip to Newfoundland. This other kid was talking to my grandfather. I got jealous and I barked at him, "My grandpa." God will take care of him no matter what happens, I'm convinced at that.